Letters from a Genius
by IchigoRenji
Summary: Tony Stark is a complicated man, with more issues than you can shake a stick at. Through the encouragement of JARVIS, Tony begins to write letters (a not journal) as a way of dealing with issues. These issues range from his complicated past, to every day life. After all, sometimes writing things down is easier than talking about them. (Drabble story.)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** See end for important notes!

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing but my own ideas and the words I've written and will write. The Characters and universe belong to Marvel. That is all.

 **Series: _Letters from a Genius_**

 **Title: _The Truth Shall Set You Free_**

 _October 11, 2015_

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to say, however JARVIS – bless his genius written code – suggested I write instead. What I'm about to say… well write…isn't something I've ever spoken about to anyone other than JARVIS or the bots. However, today is National coming out day and that gave me the courage to finally speak.

No, I'm not gay! That is totally not what this is about. Just so you all know. So don't laugh. Ugh…ok this isn't what I was trying to say. This is harder than it looks. Okay.

And if you're wondering why I'm wearing shades of purple later this month…well you'll find out soon enough….

I always knew I was different; not quite like all the rest. However, so many people expected me to behave like my father, that I unconsciously created a persona…a mask, to hide my inmost being. I was eight when I locked myself away.

With my new persona, I believed that I was finally whole. I was now my father's 'mini-me', as so many people liked to joke. The way I held myself, the way I spoke. Little did anyone know how wrong I truly was, how broken.

At the age of thirteen, when so many teens my age were going through puberty, I was alone and clueless. People spoke about sex – how great it was, that everyone wanted it and it was on their minds twenty-four seven. I thought I was broken; because I didn't have those thoughts or desires in mind or body.

Thinking back on it now, I realize how wrong I was. I so desperately and dearly wish that I had known then what I know now. It took me thirty-seven years to realize that I wasn't broken and never had been. How did I finally stumble upon this realization? JARVIS of course… my dearest friend. He knows me inside out and backwards, just as I know him. He alerted me to a book that was only published recently. It was this book that helped me discover a part of myself that I hadn't thought of or known. It was this book that saved my life.

When I say it saved my life, I mean that seriously. I was going to leave… be it one more battle, or one more bottle of liquor. Accidents happen. I was getting tired of all the lies; each of which created thicker and thicker walls around me… anything to keep my long-standing persona on both feet. I was shrouded in so many webs, that I though I was suffocating at every moment of the day. Except when alone that is. I could see the way you looked at me… always wondering why I looked like I was sleep deprived and never truly happy. It was because I thought I was broken, and the walls I created to keep this fact from the light of day… well they were slowly killing me.

After reading the book JARVIS found me…well, it felt as though I could finally breath. I knew then and there that I wasn't broken and never had been. See, society likes to tell you that sex is an integral part of your life. It can be found in all the movies, the books, songs, advertising. They also tell you that you need sex to have a happy relationship…because its not love unless your having sex. It makes me feel so sick. For a young boy, hearing those messages make you feel like you're wrong. I've been trying to seem normal for so long. Well, normal by some standards, if you catch my drift. I was, and am, a sexless man living in an over-sexualized world.

It has taken me thirty-seven years to accept this fact, and to realize that I'm fine. I'm not wrong, or broken. I'm asexual.

Well…that came out easier than I expected. I'm telling you these things, because I want the lies to end. This persona that I created as a child, and that's been with me my entire life…he's going away. I'm letting him go, and by God that feels wonderful. I feel like the hulk himself has been taken off of my shoulders.

Yes I'll still be the arrogant ass you all love and hate. I still wont be the easiest person to get along with… its just, I wont be telling you about the great time I had with the girls last night, or what I did in bed with said girls…because there are no girls…never have been, and never will be…in a sexual way.

Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to meet a girl like me…

Well that's been enough of this mushy stuff. I've said what I wanted to say. I truly hope that what I've revealed about myself today wont change things between us. When they say the truth will set you free, I never imagined it feeling like this. For the first time in a long time, I feel free as a bird…and that feels wonderful.

Hopefully your friend still,

 _Tony_

 **Authors Notes:**

This marks the beginning of my new series, Letters from a Genius. I hope you enjoyed it! Please drop me a review letting me know what you thought of it! I apologize firstly for the super long authors note. In the future they will be much shorter. Please read though, because it does contain important information.

 **I am cross posting this on Ao3 as well, under the same username!**

I apologize for the grammar and any mistakes I may have made in advance. I don't have a Beta. In a way it fits with how I'm writing the series. These are letters from Tony. He's getting things off his chest, and who has time to worry about proper grammar when unloading. :p (I also haven't written an Fan Fiction in a long while)

The issues that Tony deals with in this first letter, is actually something I've struggled with for a few years myself. Some of my thoughts definitely shine through on the matter in Tony's letter. I would like to pursue the aspect of asexuality in Tony's character in further letters.

These letters are only ways of how I personally view Tony. So this series is most definitely AU.

I should also mention, some of these letters Tony is giving to his fellow teammates. Such as this letter, it is meant to be read by the Avengers. Other letters won't be shared with anyone. I will make mention of which letters are being shared, however sometimes I'll leave it up to you guys to decide if it was kept to himself or shared with others.

Finally, like most things, this will very much be a one sided type of series. What I mean by this is, we won't be seeing the reactions of anyone. This is purely a one sided correspondence type story.

 **Questions the letter brings up, and the answers I bring to them:**

1\. The book that saves Tony's life is none other than: The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker, and its a book that I truly wish would have been written years ago. Its extremely informative, and your one stop shopping for all the information on asexuality that you would ever need. Unless you are super curious and decide to dive deeper... then here are some awesome resources:

\- www dot asexuality dot org

\- www dot asexualawarenessweek dot com

2\. "The Persona" that Tony speaks of, is how we see him in the Iron Man and Avengers films. He's a ladies man, loves sex.

3\. Tony hits that he was suicidal when he speaks about "leaving." I'm not 100% sure if he was ever suicidal in canon or not, either as a young man, though one could argue he is - case and point, when he was dying in Iron Man 2, or flying the missile into space in the Avengers.

4\. National Coming Out Day is October 11th

\- Asexuality Awareness week was October 19-25, 2015.

5\. "Hopefully your friend still, Tony". Tony is an insecure individual, with major trust issues. Something I hope to explore further in other letters.

6\. What type of Asexual is Tony? Tony is a sex-repulsed Romantic Asexual. This means he'll still want a relationship, just leave out the sex.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the words and ideas I've written and will write. The Characters and Universe belong to Marvel. That is all.

 **Series:** _ **Letters from a Genius**_

 **Title:** _ **Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid**_

 _October 21, 2015_

I mentioned in my last letter, that I'd be wearing purple later this month. JARVIS has alerted me that the nineteenth through the twenty-fifth is asexual awareness week, and wearing the colors of the asexual flag is something you do if you support the cause...I'm not normally one to do something like this; however, with the crap I've been going through, I figured why not do it.

Apparently there is a get together for asexuals on the twenty-fifth. At least that's what JARVIS informed me. It isn't going to be very big, I don't think...I'm still trying to decide if I want to go. On the one hand, I can meet other people like me, and actually talk to someone. Shocking I know. When does Tony Stark willingly talk about 'feelings' with another human being? I'm taking this time to discover a new part of me. One that I've neglected for so long. Seriously, who can blame me.

On the other hand...this could blow up in my face. I've only admitted that I'm asexual to JARVIS...my bots...and my team mates thus far. I don't know if I want the world to find out...then again...why should I care what the world thinks. I never have before, so why should I start now?! Ugh...this 'turning over a new leaf' thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

In other news, the Avengers took my letter better than I'd hoped. I left it sitting on the kitchen table in the communal kitchen of the tower, and then hid in my workshop with JARVIS. It was easier for me just to spy on everyone through the camera's than have things blow up in my face in person. I don't know what I was so worried about anymore. Cap was the one who found it. Of course it was him. Who else is up at such an ungodly hour. 4:30am is an ungodly hour. JARVIS just told me that anything before noon is considered an ungodly hour. He knows me so well. Cap got a funny look on his face. I guess he didn't really know what Asexual meant...which doesn't surprise me. It wasn't a thing back from where he's from. Nat read it next, and almost didn't believe it. She did my psych profile though, so I can understand where she's coming from. She'd only ever seen my mask. Brucie-bear understood it fine, Legolas might tease me for a while...and I haven't a clue what Thor will say. He's been off planet for a few months.

You know what, I'm going to that get together after all. I've made up my mind. If my team mates can accept it, than so can everyone else. No more pussy footing around this bush. I don't get why I'm so worried...I mean, I'm Ironman. I'd like to think I'm a pretty brave guy. Who else do you know that would be willing to fly a nuke into space, not knowing if he'd survive...I'm a freaking superhero...I'm an Avenger…

I'm Tony...who am I kidding. I don't know who I'm trying to convince anymore; myself or someone else. I'll be fine.

 _Tony_

 **Authors Note:**

So Tony is going to an Ace meetup. This should be interesting. Also, I've never actually been to a meetup like this, I've only ever worn the colors during ace awareness week. So this will be new territory. I apologize if I offend anyone, I intended anything but offence.

The title of this letter is a quote by Franklin P. Jones.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **Series:** ** _Letters from a Genius_**

 **Title:** ** _Cake_**

 _October 25, 2015_

I just got back from my first ever meetup...for others like me. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but I was wonderfully surprised. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, I just told them not to call me unless the world was ending. Nat may have figured it out...but I doubt it.

So I arrived at the location that J gave me a little bit after it was supposed to start. It was a smaller neighbourhood, maybe twenty minutes from the central hub-bub of New York City. I didn't even need to check the address...all you had to do was look for the Pride flag and the Ace Pride flags hanging side by side, hanging over the door of a very blue house. I swear, that house was at least four shades of blue. I was more than a little nervous walking up to that house. Nervous because I had no clue what to expect. The door opened before I could even knock, and I was face to face with a very surprised guy, who was probably eight years younger than me. He was sporting pink hair and a lip ring. It didn't take maybe a few seconds before he grinned and told me to come in. He then proceeded to shake my hand before dragging me off into the living room, where I was confronted with at six more people. There were a few people younger than me, but by enlarge, they were pretty close to my own age. I'm thirty-seven...i'm not that old…

Jake was the guy who let me into the house. He's twenty-nine, turning thirty in December; and he works for Google doing pretty high-end programing. He laughed at the affronted look I gave him. That look turned to shock pretty quick when I offered him a job at Stark Industries. We're always looking for talented programmers.

I met Marcus next. He's thirty-four and happily married to Lana, who I also met at the party. Marcus is a professional therapist with his own practice, and Lana - age thirty-two - works with him as an art therapist. They are a really sweet couple. What surprised me the most was finding out that Lana is actually sexual… I didn't know that sexuals could have happy relationships with asexuals. That gave me some hope.

Joseph is a forty year old video game designer. He's part of a indie game design team. His girlfriend Maya is thirty-nine, and she works with him. From what I understood, they are working on a pretty big project right now.

Rosabel, like Jake is twenty-nine also. She's currently pursuing a master's degree in the Fine Arts, and she does a lot of digital painting and concept art for clients online. Rosabel...is breathtakingly beautiful and her name suits her perfectly. She's a beautiful rose. She's a ball of energy with a pixie cut. She's got blue eyes so dark you'd think they were black, and she has light blue hair. When I first saw her, she was curled up on the sofa in the living room, sketchpad on her lap, pencils behind both her ears and busy working on a sketch. Not only is she beautiful, but she's super talented. I swear, Cap has nothing on her when it comes to art! We ended up talking for quite a while...and are going to grab a coffee sometime next week.

Marcus asked, "how long have you known you were Ace?" I was pretty sheepish when I told him I'd only really known for about two months. I went on to explain my story, and in turn they told me theirs. I can't really repeat what they said, because that's a little too personal. Everyone is pretty accepting though. I ate copious amounts of cake, which is a thing. I have to agree with the Ace slogan. Cake is better than sex. We ended up ordering pizza...well I ordered. It was the least I could do as a thank you for accepting me.

In any case, I truly enjoyed myself, and I think I've made myself a few more friends. I look forward to talking with Rosabel more, and everyone else of course. I guess they all meet up once or twice a month on the weekend when they can. According to Jake, everyone has known one-another for the last six years, so they are all close. They invited me to hang out with them. And I think I will.

When I got back to the tower, nothing could wipe the smile from my face. Today was a really good day.

 _Tony_

 **Authors Note**

So Tony had a great time at the meetup. He met some awesome people, and a girl who he kinda likes. Could there be more in store for them in the future? We shall see.

This letter is from Tony to Tony. He's not sending it to anyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **Series:** ** _Letters from a Genius_**

 **Title:** ** _When I accept myself I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me._**

 _October 28, 2015_

I feel so stupid. I completely forgot to tell Pepper...and now she hates me. I guess Nat and Pep went out to dinner the other day, and she told Pep about my letter. She stormed into my workshop last night and slapped me, before going onto rant about how I'd led her on and what a bastard I am and that I was a lying piece of shit. She stormed out before I could get a word in edgewise. Why do women have the ability to make you feel like crap? It isn't like I meant to lead her on. Heck, I even broke things off with her well over a year and a half ago because I knew it wasn't right. Does she still hate me for that?

I honestly can't figure it out. The rest of the team seemed pretty stunned by the time Pepper finally left. I guess she was yelling quite loudly on the way out of the tower. I don't blame them. She's got a set of lungs on her. I'm going to write her an email explaining things. Hopefully she won't delete it and I can actually try and mend some fences.

Jake came round for a job interview yesterday, when the tower was empty. Like I expected, he's a top-level programmer. I honestly don't get why Google wasn't paying him more. This guy's got talent and shows a lot of promise. He was pretty much drooling when I introduced him to J, and nearly cried when I asked if he wanted to see a sample of J's programing - early phases though. Can't give away all my secrets. In any case, I hired him and sent him to R&D. He starts Monday.

Rosabel and I have been texting over the past several days. The more I get to know her, the more I like her. She's everything that Pepper isn't for one, and by that I mean, very level headed yet open minded. She's creative; a very outside the box thinker. We actually got to discussing books last night, and discovered that we have similar tastes. She even writes poetry to go with some of her illustrations. If that's not talent, I don't know what is. I told her what happened with Pep last night...and she gave me something to think on. She told me this, "I've found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am...Trust your intuition. You don't need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it knows best." I didn't really expect that. People have tried to change me for years, and here is this woman that I've only known for nearly a week, and she accepts me for who I am. I think I'm going to invite her out for dinner after our coffee date next week. This is someone worth getting to know. Even if nothing comes out of it, I'd like to make a true friend...someone who likes me for me.

 _Tony_

 **Authors Note:**

To be completely honest, I forgot about Pepper as well. Haha. Whoops!

The Title is a quote by Dr. Steve Maraboli.

Rosabel used two different quotes. I haven't a clue whom they are by. I found them on pinterest and thought they fit the situation perfectly.

 **Quote 1:** I've found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am

 **Quote 2:** Trust your intuition. You don't need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it knows best.

 **Status of Letter:** Unsent


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

 **Title:** ** _The best moments of my life don't make it to social media_**

 **Series:** ** _Letters from a Genius_**

 _November 3_ _rd_ _, 2015_

The coffee date went well. Before I could decide where exactly to take Rosabel, she actually suggested a place. She reassured me that it was a very quiet place and we wouldn't be bothered, be it by the press or anyone else. I figured why not, trusted her and we went out. We took one of my less conspicuous cars – the 2013 white Audi – and headed out. The café we went to is a small hole in the wall called _'The Nook'_ of all things.

'The Nook' is one of the most charming places I've been to in my life. And I mean that with complete sincerity. It's warm, cozy and inviting. The walls are painted in various shades of brown, greens, blues and yellows, and describing then doesn't do it justice, because I feel like I'm not even listing everything. There are comfy sofas and loveseats all over the place surrounding tables. Nothing matches at all. There are patchwork quilts covering the sofas, and shelves of books line the walls, along with a lot of artwork. There is a small stage tucked away in one corner that holds a piano and guitar, ready for anyone to come and play. There are thick rugs covering the wood floor, and two large fireplaces and soft lamps, which sit on every table, light the place. They serve amazing coffee and food. Heck, even the menu is a blast to read. I'm pretty sure that a poet had a hand in writing it.

Rosabel ordered a white chocolate mocha and the "Together until the End" chicken burger. I had to take a picture of the description in the menu, because it made me laugh. "A chicken breast and topped with a fried egg, melted cheese, bacon, tomato, lettuce, and chilli sauce for some spiciness. The chicken breast is also marinated in sadness and naturally salted with chicken tears, you monster."

I on the other hand ordered a straight black coffee and "The Monterey Burger". "Homemade beef batty topped with sliced avocado, Monterey Jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. The only sandwich included in Schindler's List. I should mention that I am referring to Mark Schindler. He lives downtown and loves two things, burgers and lists. And juice… He loves juice."

I don't think I've ever giggled so hard in my life. Yes giggled. I giggle. Shut up. Rosabel couldn't stop smiling. I'm glad she showed me this place. No one will bother us here, and I seriously want to come back soon.

The Nook feels like a place I could say in for hours. It is just as comfortable as my lab…granted my lab is more chaos than anything really. I feel like the rest of my house should be like this…its not cozy at all. Maybe I should redecorate. I told Rosabel this and she shook her head. She told me that if I redecorate, I should do it myself, not let some 'specialist' do it. That way it truly becomes home, because I put my own mark on it.

I actually find that I agree with her. I always let Pepper take over, because she told me I had no taste whatsoever. It'll be a new year soon, and I think that I'm going to let go of everything and do what I want. I need to do what makes me happy, or else shit is going to hit the fan like usual. I told Rosabel I'd try, starting with my sanctuary…my workshop and my bedroom. Two places I spend the most time in. One could argue that the workshop already is unique to me…I've got my battered leather sofa, which I've had for years, sitting in one corner. I guess I need to do more though. Rosabel suggested some art or photographs on the walls. I asked her if she'd do a piece for me. She got a little flushed at the suggestion, but I offered to pay her whatever she wanted. I'd even get her the supplies if need be. She told me that she'd do it, and she'd even do one for my bedroom if I wanted. I agreed wholeheartedly, giving only one stipulation…that the work she did should give a sense of how she views me. Dangerous territory I know…but I needed to tell her that. I want to know how she sees me…how someone who accepts me for me sees me.

Looking at Rosabel reminds me of this quote I found a little while ago… "Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are." She's real, honest and is totally herself. I haven't known her that long and I can see this loud and clear. Its something that I cherish and hope that someday someone will see me the same way. I struggle with this a lot, the whole 'accepting yourself thing.' It is one point that I want to focus on in the days, weeks and months to come. I'm still trying to figure out who I am…and the day that I can accept who I am, I think that day will be the one that I'm finally at peace. Surprisingly, Rosabel is the one who started this in me, as crazy as that sounds. She got the ball rolling, because she is herself. And I know, you could argue that my teammates are similar…Steve has never pretended to be anyone other than himself – outside of his Capt. America persona. I can't really say the same about Bruce. He is always sitting in his lab brooding over how "he's a monster." Nat and Clint…well they're spies…they always wear a mask. Thor…. well he's himself. Thinking about it now, my entire team is just lost and confused. They still know who they are; regardless of how skewed their viewpoints.

After finishing our coffee and lunch, Rosabel suggested we take a walk. I shrugged and agreed. So we went on a walk. I'd never actually been to this part of the city before, other than going to the meet-up. According to Rosabel, the Nook is about fifteen minutes away from Jake's house, and she lives in the area also. We ended up hanging out for several hours, that is, until my phone rang. It was Steve. Apparently we had a situation, which called for the Avengers. We walked back to the car and I drove Rosabel home at her request, before heading back to the tower for my suit. I need to start taking my suitcase suit with me again. Everyone was a bit upset when I finally arrived on the scene…being late is not okay. Of course no one let me explain anything after the battle against Doctor Doom's Doom bots. They automatically paint me as an arrogant twit who doesn't play well with others. Honestly, the minute the meeting ended I just walked out. I didn't even say anything to my team. They've made up their minds about me already. I don't care anymore. I went back to my workshop and decided to start redecorating my home. Amazon ended up being a huge help…of course I went shopping on other sites as well, but I found a lot on Amazon anyway. Everything should come in by the end of the week, since I paid for express shipping. For once, I've picked out things that I like and if others don't like it…well they can stuff it.

It's a good thing my workshop is on my personal floor of the tower, because I'm doing a bunch of renovations; its time to dig out my book collection from the basement and dust them off. I'm installing bookshelves into not only my bedroom, but my living room as well. I've got patchwork quilts coming in from Etsy, along with a multitude of pillows. I'm pretty sure people will be a bit horrified with the pillows…I think I've got at least fifty different colors, and nothing matches. Decorating my home by myself is a little daunting…but I've never had the chance before. First it was my parents, who did it all, then Pepper and her design team. I think the only thing I had a say in was my workshop. This is awesome.

 _Tony_

 **Authors Note:**

The title is a quote by Rosalynn Mejia, while Tony's quote about Rosabel is by Mandy Hale.

The menu items are actually real. I borrowed them from the menu of a local hole in the wall bar/lounge that is popular with the university students and artsy people in my city.

The date went well, though the other avengers need a kick in the pants. We'll deal with them later though. Promise :) . Tony's decision to redecorate actually stems from he fact that his home is just so unpersonalized its not even funny. I always though that given the chance, he should redecorate.

Status of Letter: Unsent


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I apologize for disappearing for so long. I'm fast approaching the end of this semester at University and I have hardly any time to actually write. This chapter was written in the middle of one of my classes today. Honestly though, it's one of my most boring classes, and I'm not missing much. In any case, I hope you enjoy it.

 **Title:** **Why do I even call you friends, if this is how you feel about me?**

 **Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.**

December 12, 2015

I just got back from hanging out with Rosabel, Jake and the gang. We hung out, ate pizza, chatted about our week and played board games. Yes that's right. Board games. Between ' _Loaded Questions_ ' and ' _Cards against humanity_ ', it was a hilarious afternoon. The more I hang out with Rosabel and everyone, the more I feel like I'm part of the family. I've never felt this way before. Not even the team feels like family in the way that Rosabel and our friends treat me. It's like I've been welcomed with open arms, no exterior motives at all. I can't even remember the last time I felt this happy.

I know it's been awhile since my last entry, but things have been super busy. The list of things I've got to do is still as long as my arm, and I think it'll probably take a few more weeks to get on top of things.. Pepper is finally talking to me again. I think she's still ticked off, but whatever. I don't care anymore. Let her throw a hissy fit. Hopefully the upgrades I put out for the Starkpad and Starkphone keep her and the company happy for a while. Clint asked if I could make some exploding arrows for his bow, so that was interesting at least.

I'm sitting in the common lounge, which is not where I normally write these letters. Everyone things I'm working, so that's alright I suppose. I'm not sure what they'd think of me if they knew I was writing letters...to myself. In other news, I've finished renovating my rooms on my floor. I think I understand why Pepper was always in charge of decorating. My floor is definitely...me.

Bruce just called that dinner is ready. I'll be back.

Tony

December 13, 2015

I've never wanted to punch Steve as much as I did last night. Shit, the last time I felt like this, was when the two of us met, and even then, I didn't come this close.

He demanded to know where I was for most of the day. So I simply told him I had been hanging out with friends. Not even two seconds later he looks at me and says, "You don't have to lie, we all know that apart from Pepper and Rhodes, we're the only friends you have." The sad thing is, the rest of the team was nodding along in agreement. Like, EXCUSE ME?! Did he really just say that. I've never been so insulted in my life. We've known one another for a few years now, and this is what he thinks of me?! Better yet, is this what they think of me?

Am I not allowed to have friends outside of the team? Or am I so one dimensional to everyone that they can't even conceive that I could have friends that they know nothing about? Christmas is coming up quickly now, and I had been planning on bringing everyone over to meet the team. Now I wonder if that's a good idea after all. Maybe I'll spend Christmas with Rosabel and the gang rather than with the team.

What a shitty day. I'm hiding out in my workshop. I can't look at anyone right now.

Tony

 **Author's Note:** I would also like to draw your attention to a work that was inspired by this series. Marvelgeek42 wrote a oneshot in response to the first chapter/story in this series, depicting the reactions of the Avengers to Tony's coming out letter. You can find it on Ao3. Its titled "Good according to (y)our standards."

Here is the link. Just punch in Ao3's url and add /works/6078015

Enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes:** Welcome to chapter 7! Yes, I finally had a moment to spare to get another chapter out. Truth be told, I was supposed to be working on a research paper, but this chapter flew into my head and I had to get it out to you all. I had been hoping to get to Christmas Eve back in December, so now it's catch up time. I would like to get the letters into present time/day.

The next chapter will be Christmas day, so stay tuned!

 **** ** **Disclaimer:**** **I own NOTHING...except my OCs.**

 **Title:** Christmas Eve brings changes the team won't conceive

 **Status of Letter:** Unsent

December 24, 2015

It's Christmas Eve today, and I can't help but wonder if having Rosabel, Jake and the others over at the tower tomorrow is a good idea. It is something I've been thinking about for the last few weeks. I haven't seen much of the team since my last entry. I think they realized that they had messed up majorly. Every time I've seen them since, they've been walking on eggshells around me. No one has even had the guts to apologize. It makes me wonder...if they can't even trust me at my word...how the hell am I supposed to trust them? It pisses me off royally.

Jarvis has taken offence on my behalf, he's been messing with the team. I've seen the dirty looks everyone has been shooting at me. The hot water runs out only a few minutes after they hop into the shower; they can't enter certain rooms like they used too, their laundry comes out in all the wrong colors. Heck, the elevator even stopped working for them on several occasions. It took me a few days to catch on before I told J to cut it out with some of the more extreme stuff, but no one has said a word to me either way. I'm slowly but surely drifting away from my teammates, and they don't even care.

Sometimes I wonder if being an Avenger is even worth it. Don't get me wrong, I love the job...and at one point I really really cared about my team...but now...I don't know anymore. Maybe I should go solo again.

I hung out with Rosabel again last night. We cuddled on her sofa and watched the latest Bond film together. She saw that I was distracted and asked if I was okay. I finally caved and told her everything. I literally got everything off my chest. All my worries and thoughts over the past few weeks. I love how she just listens and doesn't judge. She hugged me tightly and then looked me in the eye. She said, "Tony, don't let those idiots mess with you. It's your tower, your home. If they can't take your word when you tell them something, screw them! I know you wanted us to meet your team, but if this keeps up, let's just party solo on your floor. Truth be told, if this is how they treat you, then I don't want to meet them."

She's right. It is my tower and my home. My team are just guests...so you know what? I think that tomorrow I'm going to spend Christmas with my friends, the team can screw themselves. I just texted Rosabel, Jake, Marcus, Lana, Joseph, and Maya. They are invited to spend Christmas with me, in MY tower, on MY floor. If the team expects some extravagant Christmas party or Christmas lunch/dinner...well they are out of luck. They can figure it out themselves.

I don't know when I started letting people walk all over me, but it ends now. I'm done with this shit.

Tony

 **Author's Notes:** Man I love Rosabel, and Tony! Watch out folks, there's a new Tony on the block! Lol.

I have a question for you all. What do you think of these chapters as Letters/Journal entries? Do you want me to keep going in this format, or would you like regular chapters with actual dialogue? Or should I do a mixture of both? It just an idea I've been throwing around in my head, but I figured I'd ask what you guys think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, except my OCs.

 **Title: Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to love - is a family. Having both- is a blessing.**

December 25, 2015

Today is Christmas Day, and let me tell you, it was one of the most memorable ones I've had in YEARS! Everyone I texted was more than happy to come over for the day. Rhodney is currently overseas, but he sent me an email last night. Out of everyone on the team, honey-bear is the only one to know about Rosabel and the others. Go figure.

In any case, I did say this christmas was the most memorable, and let me tell you why. First off, today isn't just Christmas. Nope. Today was also Jake's birthday. He's officially 30. Today was also the first time that the gang has come to the tower and more importantly, my home.

My best friends arrived at 7:30 in the morning. And yes they are my best friends. The team is little more than a bunch of distant acquaintances at this point. Anyway, I got them to come round to the back of the tower, and go through my personal garage - as they wouldn't run into any of the team there (i.e. Steve), and straight up to my personal floor through my private elevator.

"Wow Tony, I know you said you redecorated, but this is…" Jake said in awe, as everyone took in the decor. The sofa's in the living room were covered in patchwork quilts and colourful pillows. Bookshelves lined the walls, nearly bursting with the amount of literature they contained. There were model cars on some shelves, a few pieces of art on the walls. And smack dab by the winder was a huge christmas tree which had been left undecorated thus far.

"It's a bit much isn't it?" Tony said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and looking down at his feet.

"No no," Rosabel laughed as she leaned in to hug her best friend, "it's perfect. It's very you." Jake and the others couldn't help but grin and agree. Tony just smiled as he hugged Rosabel back.

Well, at least they didn't mock me over it. Than again, I have to remember that they aren't like the team. Marcus, Rosable, Jake, Joseph, Maya and Lana wouldn't do that. They aren't anything like the team. Anyways, we got together in my kitchen and made breakfast together. I can't even remember the last time I've laughed so much with so many people dear to me. I mean, I may have at one point...when I was six or seven...I remember getting up early for christmas and spending the day with the staff in the kitchen. We made breakfast and cookies...those memories are some of my favourites. And here we are, all these years later, making more precious memories.

Maya and Lana whipped up fluffy pancakes with whip cream and fresh fruit. Joseph, Jake and I made cookie dough for chocolate chip cookies, Marcus made muffins. I've been getting better at cooking and baking since I met the gang and had thrown together gingerbread dough a few days ago. We put the cookies, gingerbread dough and muffins in the oven and had breakfast. Seriously, this has to be one of the best breakfasts I've ever had!

Everyone sat at the table and was eating, enjoying one another's company. Tony was in the middle of eating one of his pancakes when Maya looked at him and said, "Tony I couldn't help but notice...you have a tree...but nothing is decorated…"

Tony tilted his head to the side and looked at her and said, "well, I was waiting for my family to come help decorate." Everyone grinned. Family...they were family and that's all that mattered.

After breakfast we checked on the cookies, gingerbread and muffins and they were ready to take out of the oven. I had a ton of different candy and frosting in one of the cupboards just ready to decorate the gingerbread. But first, we needed to let everything cool down and decorate the tree. My whole apartment smelled like baking and happiness...as corny as that sounds. I was and am just so happy.

We were about halfway through decorating the tree with the various decorations I had laying around after my self-decorating spree when shit hit the fan.

"Sir, the Avengers are on their way up." JARVIS announced just as Tony and Maya were giggling and nitpicking at what colour tinsel to put on the tree much to everyone's amusement. Tony stiffened and glared at the door. "How long?" "One minute sir." Tony sighed, "so much for a peaceful day."

Rosabel came up and put her hand on his shoulder, "don't let them ruin the day for you. We'll set them straight." Jake and the others nodded in agreement.

"Now, put your head up and don't let them get to you brother dear." Marcus smiled. Tony looked startled before shyly smiling.

"Really, you mean it?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't true," replied Marcus as he pat Tony on the back. With newfound determination, Tony nodded to his family, marched towards the elevator and stood with his arms crossed just as the doors opened.

It's amazing you know...how one realization about yourself can lead you to gaining an entire family. I've gained three brothers and two sisters...and Rosabel. She's not my girlfriend...she's my best friend...the one woman I respect more than any other woman I've met. And I'm including Pepper in that.

"Tony-" Steve started in surprise as he found himself face to face with the man in question.

"What do you want?" Tony asked with a dark look, as he glanced at the entire team in the elevator.

"We were wondering where you were. You missed the christmas breakfast downstairs…" Steve replied. Tony's eyes narrowed. "I ate already and I'm spending time with my family."

By now, everyone had noticed the smell of fresh baking and then Natasha and Clint caught sight of the people sitting around in the living room. "Family? Howard and Maria were the only family you had and their dead!" Exclaimed Steve before he realized what he had said. Bruce eblowed him in the side. Hard.

"Excuse me!?" Tony yelled in shock, his eye wide. Everyone had heard what the esteemed Captain America said and the looks that Tony's family was sending their way, well it wasn't pretty.

"Who are they?" Natasha asked briskly, nodding at the people coming towards Tony. The man in question was slowly backing away, still shocked at Steve's insensitive comment.

"We are Tony's family," Marcus said as he came to stand in front of Tony, shielding him, the others coming to stand beside the man.

"Never heard of you," Clint said awkwardly, shuffling his feet. He was deeply ashamed of his team mates.

"I wonder why that is," Joseph shot back, "after all, according you Tony doesn't have friends." Everyone of Tony's teammates winched, thinking back to Steve's comment earlier that month.

Rosabel came up to Steve with a determined look on her face, "you know...we were really excited to meet you all at one point. But with all the crap you've been throwing at Tony...well, I don't associate with bullies. You think it's great fun don't you. Let's see how fast we can put Tony down. I mean, it's not like he does anything worthwhile right? He only lets you live in this Tower, caters to your whims, he makes your weapons and funds you're precious S.H.I.E.L.D - and yes, I know about SHIELD. We all do," she spat when the team heard those words, "and yet, no matter what he does, he's never good enough. He's not as perfect as you all so seem to act. Well guess what, you're a bunch of fucking snakes in the grass. You're not perfect, you're a bunch of backstabbing asswhipes. If I were Tony I wouldn't even give you the time of day. I'd have better things to do. Now, you are all going to turn around and return to your common floor and leave us in peace. We were celebrating Christmas and we don't need you to ruin it for the rest of us." Everyone stood still in shock.

Natasha was the first to shake off her shock, "you have no right-" Rosabel cut her off with a venomous look.

"Oh I have every right. I'm Tony's best friend and these people here today are his true family. You aren't wanted. Now Go!"

Natasha took a step towards Rosabel when the young woman spoke again, "J, if these dickbags aren't off this floor in the next fifty seconds...activate protocol 4T66K1."

"As you wish," JARVIS confirmed, "Avengers, you have less than 40 seconds till protocol is enforced. I'd advise you leave now."

"What's the protocol?" Asked Bruce softly.

"Doctor Banner, you don't want to find out." JARVIS replied darkly. Bruce nodded and headed back into the elevator, but not before looking at Tony who was still being shielded by his new found family. He didn't know what to say. Natasha and Steve joined him quietly, though still angry.

"Tony," it was Clint who spoke. Tony looked at his teammate questioningly, still upset. "I'm sorry. I've been a shit friend. Maybe we can talk sometime soon...I'd like to apologize properly and try to be a proper friend this time." Tony nodded in surprise. Clint closed his eyes and stepped into the elevator. The doors closed and everyone, Tony especially, sagged in relief.

Rosabel was amazing, everyone was. Of course, she just put Cap into place like it was nothing. That woman has no fear! Clint's short apology touched me as well. While he never really spoke up when everyone else was treating me like crap, he never went out of his way to hurt me either. In fact, I don't think he's ever really done anything to purposefully hurt me in all the time that I've known him. Maybe we can repair our relationship somehow. Cap's words hurt me deeply...I have a feeling that I'll be talking to Marcus and Lana one on one for a while after this.

The rest of the day was better. We finished decorating the tree. I managed to find some ironman christmas decorations much to everyone's delight. They weren't surprised at all. The tree is very us. Its got handmade decorations as provided by Rosabel. They are small sculptures she's whipped up. Everyone told me that they all had their own thanks for Rosabel. Christmas is our favourite holiday after all. We hung up pictures of us on the tree and several different colours of tinsel and a ton of lights. We even got a giant silver star on top of the tree...which required my suit. The tree was well over nine feet tall.

Later we curled up on the sofas, wrapped in quilts, sipping hot chocolate and eating our now decorated gingerbread cookies. We had prepared the turkey a few days ago at Marcus and Lana's home, now we were waiting for it to finish cooking for dinner.

There were a ton of gifts under the tree and so we decided to open them. After all, we'd all been waiting patiently all morning now.

Shopping for my new family was not as easy as I had expected, but shopping for people dear to our hearts never is. The team still got presents...I'd bought them months ago...sadly, only Bruce, Clint and Thor had got me anything in return.

For Cap, I'd got him a new set of watercolours that he'd mentioned a while ago. They were super expensive and the best on the market.

For Natasha, I got a new Marc Jacobs dress, shoes and bag.

For Bruce, I got him several top publications that he'd mentioned he'd love to read, as well as tickets for the science symposium which would be happening in February.

For Thor, I got him a huge supply of pop-tarts as well as tickets for him and Jane to have a vacation to anywhere of their own choosing.

For Clint, I made him a new bow, new arrows, more protective gear, as well as first edition copies of Lord of the Rings. He's a bookworm...who knew.

From Bruce, I got a box of chocolates...and from Thor a bottle Asgardian wine. Clint got me a pair of Ironman pjs.

I couldn't help but be a little disappointed…

For my family...

Marcus and Lana got brand new facilities for their practice. They had been wholed up in small building for years now. They deserve something better, because they do so much good. I also got them plane tickets for vacation. Their ten year anniversary is coming up soon and they deserve something nice.

Joseph and Maya got brand new gaming systems and top of the line computers so as to do their work. I also offered them one of the office space floors in the Tower to use for work. They too got plane tickets for vacation.

Jake, as it was also his birthday today, got plane tickets for vacation as well as a huge promotion at work. He's now going to be working directly under me. Of course, I got him the latest Starkpad, which hasn't been released to the public yet, and a new car.

Rosabel was harder to shop for...she too got plane tickets for vacation, I got her the newest cintiq tablet on the market as well as a credit card to buy supplies for her studio. I told her she could buy anything she needed, no matter what the cost. Last but not least, I gave her a handmade ticket...this one proclaiming that I'd give her a tour of my art collection on any day/time of her choosing and that she could take her pick of any of the works to keep for herself.

Everyone was shocked by their gifts. Lots of tears were shed and hugs were given.

"Tony, we don't even know what to say. You didn't have to give us so much, but we are thankful all the same," Marcus said softly as he hugged Tony, "We don't have much money between us, so we pitched in together to get you something."

"You didn't have to," Tony smiled, "You all being here today, being my family..that is more than enough for me."

"All the same, you deserve good things," replied Jake with a grin. Together, they handed a small gift to Tony. It wasn't very thick or very wide, but it was wrapped neatly in festive wrapping paper.

"Open it!" Smiled Lana, the others nodding in agreement. And so Tony did. He carefully opened the gift as not to tear the wrapping paper and what was inside made him choke up. Firstly there was a framed photograph of all of them - including Tony - during one of their game nights. The frame itself had the word Family scrawled across the top. There were documents folded under the frame which Tony gently opened. As he read them, tears formed in his eyes.

"Are you serious?" He choked out with wide eyes.

"If you'll have us, we'll officially be a family." Marcus said with a grin.

"Yes! Of course!" Tony agreed, throwing the papers onto the coffee table in front of him and grabbing Marcus and then the others into tight hugs. Happy tears were shed.

The papers on the table had the declaration of "Adopting an Adult" on the header. Marcus wanted him as his legally binding brother!

I found out later that Marcus had actually adopted the rest of the gang over the years. Now I know this isn't something people normally do...but we're closer than family, so it makes sense. I haven't felt this wonderful in years...these people want to be my family in everything, and I can't tell you how dearly I love them for it.

Rosabel handed me two large gifts later after my freak out, when Marcus, Joseph, Maya and Lana went to check on the Turkey and the rest of the food. As I unwrapped them, I realized these were the paintings that I had asked Rosabel to make back in November. They were beautiful...and she had gone above and beyond all expectations. The first was of me working away on my starkpad in what looked to be Jake's house. She must have done some sketches when I wasn't looking. My fingers look like they're dancing across the screen, I've got a look of concentration on my face, my hair is mussed as though I'd run my hands through it several times. My legs are folded underneath me and I've got a pillow under the starkpad in my lap. It's one of my favourite pillows as its red and gold and so fluffy it isn't even funny.

The second painting is of all of us. My family. I'm smack dab in the middle with the biggest grin on my face. Everyone's got their arms around me and my whole face is lit up.

I grinned and pulled Rosabel into a hug. I told her, "You are amazing!" And she is. She sees me in a way that I don't even see myself sometimes. And I love her more for it.

That night we had the best Christmas dinner in the history of Christmas dinners. Today will be a day that will stay with me forever. A day where I gained a family in every sense of the word...a day where I finally found peace and true happiness. It's a day where I found out what love truly means.

With my family at my side, I know I can do anything.

Tony

 **Author's Notes:**

Status of Letter: Unsent

Title is a quote by Donna Hedges. This is literally my favourite chapter. Seriously. Tony has gained a family that will stand with him through everything. I looked it up, yes you can actually legally adopt adults. The reason I picked Marcus and Lana as the ones to adopt, is that even though Joseph and Maya are older than everyone in the group, Marcus and Lana are more mature. In any case, what did you guys think? Did you like the format of the chapter? What about Rosabel standing up to Steve! Ha! I couldn't stop grinning as I wrote that part.


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